resident assistant

Amid UC Berkeley’s fall plans to adapt to COVID-19 guidelines, campus resident assistants will continue to provide services remotely and in person.

With the end of spring break, Stern Hall resident Elaine Calzada left behind her cozy bed in Montebello to return to the thinly-carpeted concrete floor that, since February, has been her bed at UC Berkeley.

The residence halls, as you will soon discover, are simmering cesspools of teens living on top of one another, complete with clogged bathrooms, unwashed sheets and the lingering smell of weed. Such an environment makes for prime seduction — no joke, I found my first two serious boyfriends in campus housing. When you are crammed in with a bunch of people your age, there will always be that smoking hot person you eventually pursue.

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