depression

my head is exploding / and the world reverberates with static / I am an old abandoned tv that / no one remembered to switch off

When midnight struck this year, I was straddled between the pessimism of past years and the optimism of others who looked forward to the new year. I want a neutral year.

some nights my tears drown me, the weight in my chest amplifies, I feel like I’ve swallowed glass and won’t ever breathe again. 

A new study conducted by UC Berkeley affiliates contradicted decades-old research that depressed individuals are more realistic in determining how much control they have over their lives.

The truth is, living is a choice. It’s a choice I’ve made every day since my struggle with depression began.

I knew I couldn’t feed my hunger for instant success without putting my wellness in jeopardy. Instead, I crafted a semester-long 5-part plan to resist my appetite for perfection

Unlearning years of emotional repression was in no way easy, but it was healthier than the alternative path I had been wandering down the entire duration of my childhood.

Unfortunately, sorority girls are observant. Like I said, there are no secrets beyond our perfectly manicured lawns and Greek letters.

Suicidal thoughts are terrifying at any age. I was only 14 when I was hospitalized. Rather than being cared for, I felt as though I was being punished for my depression.

After that first rejection, I began seeing another therapist, my time in her office and billable hours lasting longer. At this point, I was 13 and suffering from severe anxiety.