The Weekender

why can’t I write about rose bouquets and apple tea // instead all I’m left with are paper cuts and my bloodied fingers

The Santa Anas stir the ghosts of California. All Californians know it. As the wind rushes down the hills, we expect something bracing and invigorating. But it defies us — hot, blowing to the sea, cracking our lips.

This blank book had nothing to do with language: It went beyond that. It was the emptiness of this book that would make space for the author to say exactly what she wanted to say, everything she could ever want to say, forever. 

A gentle white tip nipped at my fin and beckoned me further down. Morays and snowflake eels seldom darted out of crevices and accompanied the symphony of motion. It wasn’t long until I became one with this ocean. 

She’s not mine for the taking, but can’t I just imagine? / Would she care? / I think she wants me to want her — it pleases her. / And I want to please her, so I will. 

Horror writers keep reaffirming some collective terror in the concept of fungi and mold. There’s something off-putting, uncanny — something wrong with whatever they've infected or contaminated. The Last of Us, The Haunting of Hill House, Relic: all these medias use mycophobia, the fear of fungi, as the basis of their horror. 

My commonplaces are as rhizomatic as I am. My thoughts and ideas flow and emerge in unpredictable patterns, taking on new roots at will. 

"Still, I’m afraid to forget you. I dread the day when I will forget these feelings — the day when I meet another girl and pursue her and not you. The day when I’ll sit down and realize that, when you pass by my mind, I don’t feel anything at all."

TikTok might mimic the spontaneity of meeting a stranger or the serendipity of finding common ground with another person, and it may have even served as an anchor in community life during the pandemic, but third places hinge on this element of place, and TikTok would be more fairly considered a “nonplace.” 

What does it mean to be creative? What makes something a creative endeavor? Is everything a creative endeavor?