The Soapbox

It didn’t matter that these girls were brilliant creators selected into the startup incubator for the projects they had led. To the men around me, they were simply sexual objects, with worth directly esteemed from their attractiveness rather than their technical abilities.

Living in a sorority began to feel like taking one step toward adulthood and then three steps back. Looking back now, I could never imagine myself in a house where my male friends were banned from my room after 10, and I was subject to an overbearing housing contract. To me, it felt like in order to assure that no girls broke Panhellenic trust, we were simply not given any trust to begin with.

Laughing with friends in seminar as we talked about the importance of self-care, cheering as Ruth Bader Ginsburg came on screen as we all watched “On the Basis of Sex” and planting flowers in our community garden were always the highlights of my week. They reminded me of everything good when it felt like things were going wrong, assuring me of my place in STEM when the intensity of Berkeley CS made me doubt my competence.

It took me a long time to challenge Eurocentric beauty ideals. But now, I am able to look in the mirror and see a real person, a person who is no longer submissive to European ideologies. I am now able to face myself.

Weeks before I left for California, I spent my afternoon researching UC Berkeley and what clubs and societies there were to get involved in. Pictures of sorority houses and sisterhood events flooded my webpage, and it seemed to me like sororities were so essential to the American college experience.

I will no longer allow white supremacy to control my life and will continue to be a critic of its different manifestations. I will continue to decolonize myself by changing old attitudes and habits. Ultimately, ethnic studies fundamentally changed the way I view the world. It empowered me by showing me how I was being oppressed and how I was oppressing others.

Over the years, I’ve learned to fully embrace myself as a coder regardless of the sexist stereotypes forcing me into a box I can never fill. I refuse to be silenced by those who distrust my coding abilities as a woman in STEM.

Unlike other holidays when people simply relax or have fun, Thanksgiving is one of those festivals that brings people together. It also truly encourages us to reflect on our lives and what we are grateful for.