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We're not really friends

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FEBRUARY 15, 2023

There are roughly 30,000 undergraduate students here. Due to the size of this campus and the overflowing lecture halls, it’s easy to slip through the cracks. It’s easy to feel invisible. 

On the same end, the boy next door, or in this case, the boy sitting in the seat next to you could have the most incredible, wild, adventurous backstory — and you would never know. The girl who whispers silly little jokes into your ear during lecture could be the sweetest, most loving person ever — and you would never know. There’s the people you make small talk with on your way to class, the people you awkwardly smile at in fleeting moments, the people you know you’ve met in the first week and have never talked to since we truly don’t know them to their core. We can psychoanalyze them or assume based on what sororities, fraternities or clubs they are a part of, but, in turn, we know we’re missing out on some sort of a connection.

Looking back on the past few years, I’ve realized that I’ve had these uncomfortably vulnerable conversations with people who remain some of my closest friends — whether the conversations were intentional or came up naturally. Maybe, within our feeble attempts of making a quick class buddy or stressing about the busyness of our own lives, we have forgotten to take the most instinctual steps of recognizing each other’s existence.

Thus, I hope you look upon the following questions below, grouped into three phases based on the “We’re Not Really Strangers” card game, and simply learn how to exist and interact.

Phase 1: Breaking the ice

  1. What were your first impressions of me?
  2. How do you envision my future?
  3. What was your favorite childhood book or TV show or movie?
  4. Do you think I’m someone you would approach at a party? Why or why not?
  5. How would you describe what I’m wearing right now as it relates to your perception of me?
  6. What is a song that reminds you of me?
  7. What do you think we have in common, and what do you think we don’t have in common?
  8. Do you think I’m someone who wears my heart on my sleeve?
  9. Do you think my social media presence matches your perception of me?
  10. What kind of temperament do you think I have? (e.g. sensitive, anxious, calm, energetic, sociable, hopeful, etc.)

Phase 2: Getting to the core

  1. What is your relationship like with your parents?
  2. Is there anything you would have changed about your childhood?
  3. Have you ever been in love? If not, why do you think that is? If so, how does it/did it make you feel?
  4. How would you like others to perceive or feel around you, and why?
  5. What is something you think is holding you back?
  6. What is something you think is propelling you forward in life?
  7. What would you pinpoint to be the most heartbreaking experience in your life? (doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic)
  8. What is something you wish you could experience for the first time again?
  9. What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
  10. What is one thing you would change and wouldn’t change about yourself? Why?

Phase 3: Intertwining our souls

  1. What is something you value about our relationship?
  2. What is something memorable that you have learned about me?
  3. What is something you think we can learn from each other?
  4. What surprised you the most about me?
  5. How would you describe the best parts of our relationship/connection? What is something you think we need to work on?
  6. What is something you would confide in me about? What is something you wouldn’t confide in me about, and why?
  7. Do you think our relationship is natural or one that has to be developed/worked for?
  8. What do you think my biggest fear is?
  9. Do you think our specific relationship and our interactions are coincidental or intentional?
  10. Do you still think we are strangers?

Contact Aimee Han at 


FEBRUARY 15, 2023