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Choose your own adventure: Berkeley edition

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NOVEMBER 20, 2022

Choose your own adventure books are a remarkable childhood classic. They call on the reader to make various narrative decisions that ultimately make up the entire course of the story. Do you fight the dragon or run away? Can you help the princess or leave her? Regardless of whether you end up dying by a clan of elves or return safely to the castle, they’re always a load of fun! 

Dear reader, I invite you to go on one more adventure, Berkeley edition


Good morning! You have finally opened your eyes in your Twin XL bed after snoozing the alarm three times. You are at UC Berkeley. The number one public university in the world! So many opportunities! World class professors! Unmatched academics! In fact, you have a lecture with a Nobel-prize-winning professor in 15 minutes. 

If you want to skip your rigorous, enriching and Nobel-prize-winning lecture, skip to OVERPRICED LATTE

If you want to attend your rigorous, enriching and Nobel-prize-winning lecture, continue to MORAL DILEMMA


After throwing on a blue and gold sweatshirt for maybe (not necessarily) school spirit but procrastinating laundry day, you march through Sproul Plaza to get to Wheeler Hall. You are approached by students asking to sign papers and donate money, a lot of them testing your moral sense. 

For example: do you care about dying children? 

If you care about dying children and purchased a $10 donut for proof skip to MOFFITT LIBRARY

If you care about dying children but cannot purchase a $10 donut continue to LECTURE


You have arrived at the lecture hall and managed to sit next to people who shower almost every day. Congratulations. The professor decided that today’s lecture will be about the power of small acts. The social, political and economic impacts of lending an extra hand, taking a minute out of your day and paying a little bit more attention to the world. The final paper will be on kindness. 

If you find this timing comedic but can’t help feeling a little guilty, head on BACK 2 SPROUL PLAZA

If this is all obviously theoretical and you just want to finish your paper, skip to MOFFITT LIBRARY


You go back to Sproul plaza and see that the donation tables have multiplied. But this time, instead of ignoring the requests for your time, attention and money, you sign the papers, ask about the projects and donate to the many causes. You even sign up to volunteer every weekend. Will you attend more than one session? That’s for next time.  


You are at one of Berkeley’s many coffee shops and paying a questionable amount of money for milk and two espresso shots. Many other people have had the same idea and there’s a lot of gossiping around. After scrolling through your to-do list and staring at the Notion calendar, you just end up eavesdropping. That 20-page paper? Congratulations, it’s still blank. 

If you want to go ask your professor for help, hurry on to OFFICE HOURS

If you want to study on your own, walk up to MOFFITT LIBRARY


Who knew there were this many offices on campus. 203, 206, 216, 245 … 387? None of these seem to be in order but, whatever. You’ve made it to your professor’s office. Only, the door is locked and turns out office hours are by appointment only. Guess who forgot to make an appointment. The day is going just perfectly. 

If you want to go to the library and try studying on your own, skip to MOFFITT LIBRARY 

If you want to give up, continue to RSF


Ah, the Recreational Sports Facility. You gallop on the cardio machines, stretch on the communal yoga-mats and even manage to get in the weight room. You lift heavy things and put them down. Then you lift them again, only to put them back down. You have forgotten about the exam. You feel great. 


You are on floor five of the Moffitt Library. By some miracle you managed to secure a table seat and avoid having to break your back by sitting on the ground of the carpet workspace that resembles Google headquarters. You take out all of your electronic devices and tap loudly on the iPad. But after studying for a bit, you have to use the bathroom. 

If you want to leave your entire Apple ecosystem unattended and go to the bathroom continue to GO BEARS

If you want to awkwardly ask someone to watch your Apple ecosystem continue to GO BEARS.


Regardless of whether you asked someone to “watch” your expensive devices or decided to leave them sprawled across the table, you come back from the bathroom with nothing taken or stolen. Let’s be real, no one really pays attention. It’s UC Berkeley. We study, grind, go on our phones and study some more. 

Good luck on midterms, finals or whatever exam you have coming up. Because honestly, it’s exam season all year around here. 

Go bears. 


Contact Haera Shin at 


NOVEMBER 20, 2022