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Silly pickup lines for sliding into Zoom DMs

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AUGUST 19, 2020

Dating during a pandemic is kind of rough. It’s no longer possible to just turn to the person sitting next to you in lecture and strike up a conversation (seriously though, did that ever work for people? Asking for a friend). But thanks to Zoom’s private chat function, you can still have side conversations with people while you’re waiting for class to start. Obviously, there’s never a better time to flirt with someone than when you’re staring at each other from behind a monitor, half asleep and partially clothed with dry acne cream on your chin.

We at the Clog are too scared to try out these lines for ourselves, so if you see someone cute in one of your classes, test one out for us! Sure, they may never speak to you again, but what do you have to lose? 

  1. I’m not muted; I’m just speechless over how beautiful you are.
  2. Let’s say you and I go into a breakout room together?
  3. Your camera angle is very a-cute.
  4. Is that a virtual background or are you just glowing today?
  5. I’m looking for a relationship that’s more stable than my Wi-Fi connection. 
  6. Is your video broken? I can’t see you; I only see an angel.
  7. Breakout rooms? More like make-out rooms, am I right?
  8. I don’t usually let people see the inside of my room until the third date, but here we are. 
  9. Did we just make eye contact, or did we just accidentally look into our cameras at the same time?
  10. Is this meeting being recorded? Because that comment you just made was really smart and I kind of want to go back and listen to it again. 
  11. How does the professor expect me to focus on (insert course subject) when your face is right in front of me?
  12. Are you a race car? Because you zoomed right into my heart. 
  13. Postmates? More like Post-dates. … let me order you dinner, baby 😉
  14. Are you Zoom? Because I’m not sure where you came from, but you took over my life.
  15. Are you my computer? Because I want to spend hours staring at you every day.

We’ll leave it up to you to decide how seriously to take these. It might be best to test them out on a friend first.

Contact Fleurette Modica at [email protected].
LAST UPDATED

AUGUST 19, 2020


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