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Weird flex but O(s)K(i)

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NOVEMBER 16, 2018

When it comes to the Big Game, Bears shamelessly band together to commit to the cause of boasting. We pride ourselves on finding just about anything and everything to remind Mr. Paper Source (the Stanfurd Tree) on the other side of the Bay of our clear and unambiguous superiority. We go to great lengths, the ends of the earth (or campus) to find all of our most flex-able assets. But what do we do when all of these assets have been cashed in, you may ask? We keep on keeping on. May we at the Clog present to you: Cal’s top-10 “Weird Flexes But OK.”

Oski has his own official line of bobbleheads.

You could say we’re the coolest (Oski) cats in the (Big) Game. And let the record show that we here at the Clog have full confidence that they’re sitting on the desks of world leaders and CEOs everywhere.

Classes may be impossible to enroll in, and waitlists may be long, but our overflowing public school classes get us free napping passes in the back of our massive auditoriums.

And you thought we valued our education? That we wanted to get to know our professors? Well, the joke is on you, because we Bears care about one thing and one thing only: getting that full eight hours of Zzz’s.

The color we bleed (blue) was inspired by Yale, as many Cal founders were Yale alumni.

Yale … our brethren and coincidently also a real ivy. Need some ice for that burn?

Our campus is full of hills, and our streets have seen their fair share of trash.

Hear us out on this one. Your campus may be flat and pristine, but at least we stay fit by climbing up hills and jumping over empty take-out food containers, thus cutting down our gym time and giving us a few extra hours to hit the books. Look at us working smarter, not harder.

Every year during Dead Week, we have the Naked Run.

So, yeah. Take. That.

There’s no need to listen to music while walking around campus because you can listen to free speakers, instead.

By free speakers, we are indeed referencing the individuals near and dear to our hearts who yell on Sproul Plaza about the end of the world. Inspiration is all around us here at Cal.

We answer to Bezerkeley.

This is, in fact, the epitome of a “weird flex but OK.”

The only thing Cal Bears have more pictures of other than screenshots of “No. 1 Public University” rankings are pictures of our queen: the Campanile.

Lit up at night, golden hour, with the Bay in the background, up-close, from afar … you name it, we have her at all her best angles. Did we mention she’s looking pretty tall these days?

Berkeley Time

Repeat: This is not a weird flex; this flex is actually very real and anything but weird. Sure, it may haunt us in our future career days, but for now, the free pass to be late to just about everything is a real flex that we love dearly. So, to underscore our point: be jealous.

Our lives flash before our eyes at least once a day.

Looking both ways before you cross the street is for Trees.

So just remember, a flex is a flex. Sure, they may be weird, but who loves weird more than a Bezerkeley Bear? Go Bears! Go weird flexes!

Contact McKenna Hathaway at [email protected].

NOVEMBER 16, 2018