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Reasons you might be late to class at UC Berkeley

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OCTOBER 11, 2018

Most of us UC Berkeley students have been late to class at some point. Sure, there are the typical “I slept through my alarm” or “I lost track of time while getting ready” excuses — these things happen to everyone. But what about all the wild things that happen only to Berkeley kids? Here are some reasons why even Berkeley time might not save the students at UC Berkeley.

You fell in the creek

It happens to the best of us. You’re on your way to Stanley, you think you see a fish or something shiny in the water, and the next thing you know, you’re in the water. Either that or your buddy pushed you in while you were both walking to your 8 a.m. as a “waker-upper.”

You had to fight a squirrel

Whether a squirrel was fucking with you first or you felt the need to take out your anger on an overly curious one that got too close, sometimes you have to go through one or more squirrels to get to class. Make sure to tell your professor that the squirrel grabbed your $5 sandwich, and you weren’t going to let your hard-earned money go to waste that easily.

The bus you needed to take came way too early or way too late

You planned your trip from your residence to campus down to the minute, but the off-schedule bus had to fuck it up. To make matters worse, the next one isn’t for another 30 minutes. It’s a serious problem.

You accidentally joined a protest on Sproul

You decided to walk through Sproul on your way to class, and lo and behold, protesters covered the steps of Sproul Hall, giving speeches and holding signs. Maybe one is thrust into your hands as you walk by, so you decide to stay a while and check it out. Before you know it, you’ve lost track of time, and you’re preaching support for women’s rights, minority rights and the overthrow of the current political regime instead of sleeping through Chem 3A.

You got too winded going up a hill

Maybe you only got 23 minutes of sleep the night before and are about to pass out, or maybe sitting in front of your TV all summer has gotten you horribly out of shape. Either way, you didn’t make it up that classic Berkeley hill without having to pause and sit down for a bit while other students gave you the side-eye as they passed.

You almost got run over

As you cross the street, a car zooms toward you. “Will it brake?” you ask yourself. “Is today the day I become debt-free?” It squeals to a stop just before you pass in front of it. Damn. But then a bike whizzes by, two inches from your face. Two missed shots is too much for you to handle. You sadly trudge to class, your disappointment causing you to be late.

You got flyered

Whether or not you walk through the middle of Sproul, those people handing out flyers will find you. They’ll thrust flyers in your hand or try to get you to sign up for a club or organization. You’ll show up to class 20 minutes after Berkeley time, with papers in every crevice.

The next time you’re late for class, just drop one of these excuses on your professor or GSI. They probably won’t question you.

Contact Pooja Bale at [email protected] .

OCTOBER 11, 2018