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In light of the moth meme: If moths went to UC Berkeley

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OCTOBER 05, 2018

As our school’s motto goes, “Let there be light” — and where there is light, there are moths.

Recently, there’s been a boom of moth-related memes circulating the interwebs, and so to add onto the joke, here’s what would happen if a moth attended UC Berkeley as a student.

Hang out by the Campanile at night

The Campanile is a towering beacon of light at night. It’s the campus night light, if you will. So, you should expect to see a moth hanging around to soak in the positive energy. The moth is a true night owl and will often stick around the Campanile to do some late-night studying.

Order lamps from KiwiBot

The KiwiBot service is frequented by moths on campus. They just can’t get enough. If you want to give a moth a gift, give it a lamp. Moths will order lamps from anywhere and everywhere, from boba shops to Walgreens. They live life simply.

Go to the bonfire before the Stanford game

The bonfire is going to be littt! The atmosphere is so drawing, especially for moths — the smoke from the wood, the jeering cheers, the school spirit and, not to mention, all that light. It’s a welcoming place for moths to share their school pride and deeply rooted fascination with bright light.

Major in physics to learn how to “create light”

As students of UC Berkeley, moths also need to pick up an academic interest. Since most moths are broke, it’s common for them to search for alternative means to get their hands on a “lamp.” Thus, moths will tend to major in environmental energy or physics to learn how to create light on their own.

Pick up chicks by the nearest lamppost on campus with the line, “You are the light of my life.”

Even though February is a little far away, time is of the essence for moths. If they aren’t studying or searching for food, they’re looking for a mate (and a lamp). Being stuck in the friend zone isn’t an issue for a moth, so any social interaction is welcomed.

Study abroad in Paris, the “City of Lights”

Every moth’s dream is to study under the bright, twinkling lights of the busy city of Paris and to visit the Eiffel Tower in all of its lit-up glory. Paris is a bastion of culture and unique cuisine, so who wouldn’t want to live there for a semester? Life is short for a moth, so travel is precious.

Only drinks “light” Coca-Cola

Since light in its purest form is scarce during those late night hours, the only way for a moth to fill itself up with the joy of any light is to drink some “light” Coca-Cola. It’s moth approved, since the flavor tastes no different from regular Coca-Cola, and it has the added bonus of caffeine being a close cousin to actual “light energy.”

Turns up their phone brightness all the way, even in the middle of the day

Sometimes the brief moments of sun between classes or the well-lit lecture halls aren’t enough for a busy moth. A constant source of light is a requirement to maintain sanity over the course of midterm season. So, if you spot a moth with their phone brightness up all the way, know that they are on that grind.

There you have it. Those are some ways in which a moth can get acclimated to UC Berkeley student life without having to compromise their typical, light-loving lifestyle.

Contact Malvika Singhal at [email protected].

OCTOBER 05, 2018