Beware, Cloggers — Friday the 13th, the mythic day of misfortune and mayhem, is upon us. As students at the No. 1 public university in the world, we have many reasons to feel lucky. But the Clog is here to warn you — don’t be fooled. Here are some unlucky UC Berkeley nightmares that just might come true on this superstition-laden day.
13. Getting assigned to live in Stern Hall
However terrible you think your Unit 2 triple is, just know that you have not been cursed with the worst that UC Berkeley housing has to offer — the all-female Northside residence hall where no friends or happy memories are made.
12. Running into your GSI in a public setting
Being forced to engage in awkward small talk with your GSI while you are just trying to grab a cup of coffee is a misfortune we would not wish upon anyone. This stroke of bad luck, however, is easy to avoid — just don’t leave your bed.
11. Being trapped in a room alone with Oski
This situation has all the makings of a horror movie, right down to the paralyzing eyes of a potential serial killer — cue the “Psycho” sound effect. Lock up all your doors and windows for good measure.
10. AirBears2 crashing before you saved your code
Sometimes the automatic function comes in clutch, but don’t count on it on this day of ill fate. You’ll need your Wi-Fi to get through the day.
9. Every open seat at Moffitt is swooped right before you get there
Walking into Moffitt to find no empty seats would feel like a regular day, but spotting empty seats and being two steps behind someone else who grabs them multiple times in a row feels like fate playing a cruel game. On Friday the 13th, save yourself the misery and head straight for the floor.
8. Receiving another rejection letter
Whether it’s from an uninterested romantic pursuit or a recruiter of your dream job, tragedy might befall you this Friday the 13th in the form of a heartbreaking text or email. Avoid an unfortunate encounter by switching all electronic devices off.
7. Taking a pop quiz
As if our GPAs weren’t deflated enough, professors add insult to injury by assigning pop quizzes knowing that most students probably aren’t prepared. The solution? Ditch class.
6. Waiting in line at CREAM to find out the place is out of ice cream
Nothing says bad luck like standing on a darkened Berkeley street corner for 30 minutes only to find out it was all for nothing. If you’re the superstitious kind, you should probably avoid risking this possible scenario.
5. Having your classroom get set on fire by a violent protest
As unlucky as this may be, let’s be honest — at this point it’s far from impossible.
4. Pacific Cookie Company, Smart Alec’s Intt and American Apparel all closing on the same day
Oh wait, this kind of already happened. Turns out nightmares do come true.
3. Accidentally stepping on the seal
The urban legend is that stepping on the seal will destroy your chances at a 4.0, but let’s face it, for most of us a 4.0 is already a pipe dream. But watch out, because stepping on the seal on Friday the 13th could ruin your chances at passing your classes at all.
2. Finding out you’ve been dropped from all of your classes
I’m sweating in fear just thinking about it.
1. Being forced into conversation with a $tanfurd fan
This terrorizing scenario is to crippling to even speak of. Walk in the other direction whenever you see red to avoid the worst kind of luck imaginable.
You can do everything you can to avoid bad superstition, but at the end of the day, there’s no escaping fate. Good luck out there, bears.
