At long last, Wheeler Hall has reopened to the public. But wait — where is our modern utopian building? It’s a lot cleaner, sure, but beyond that, what did the construction fix? In response to the “upgrades,” we at the Clog decided to submit our own plan for Wheeler Hall, complete with all the amenities that should have been included in the renovation. We guess our suggestions will just have to wait until the next round of construction.

A nap room

No, not nap pods. We know about those. We’re talking a room of beds, bean bags and blankets, kept at a cool 70 degrees, with no windows, and designated solely for sleeping. Just imagine how much better your day would be if you could just walk down the hall for a quick nap after your 8 a.m. Econ lecture.

Oski’s den

This bear’s lair is a closely guarded secret, but wouldn’t it be nice if Oski lived amongst us in Wheeler? The update would have been the perfect time to sneak in a new cave. But, if Oski did add his own new secret room, it’s not like we would ever know. Keep your eyes peeled, Bears.

A secret tunnel

Going outside is so passé. If we at the Clog had been consulted on Wheeler’s design, we would’ve pushed for a secret tunnel (or tunnels) leading to nearby buildings. It would make the struggle of getting to back-to-back classes so much easier (and spookier!)

A boba shop

Cory Hall shouldn’t be the only spot on campus where we can snag a sip of boba! Better yet — let’s have it take meal points too! Even liberal-arts kids deserve tea.

Who needs architects when we have the Clog? If only the administration had thought to consult us about this, Wheeler could’ve been so much better!