This Monday, Donald Trump’s most recent communications director-appointee Anthony Scaramucci was ceremoniously unappointed after 10 days in the position. While we UC Berkeley students might also often want to leave our classes and jobs around the 10-day mark, when you think about it, we’ve actually made it a significantly further than him in many senses. Here are some things that regularly take us longer than it took Scaramucci to be kicked out of Trump’s White House.
How long your GSIs take to grade your midterms
How long you have to attend classes you’re not even in yet to get off waitlists
It’s kind of cool and kind of SAD that syllabus week lasts longer than the Mooch has.
How long it takes the companies you’re applying to jobs and internships at to email you back
Doesn’t it feel great to consistently be emailing your resume and cover letter with all of your personal information and hopes and dreams out to multiple companies that rarely even email you back to reject you? Well, at least your resume doesn’t have you in a communications director position for 10 days.
How far in advance you need to schedule an appointment at the Tang Center
The American healthcare system, right?
How long UC Berkeley takes to give you your financial aid
No public funds???
How long you take to finally do get around to doing your laundry
What a process to go make change for quarters, organize your laundry pile, tidy up your room up a little bit, set your timers, etc., etc. But if you look at it in another way, the Mooch got the boot from Trump before you even stopped your “The Office” binge in hopes of glancing over at your hamper.
How long it takes to get into Triple Rock on Monkeyhead Night
Donald Trump tweeted, “No W(hite) H(ouse) chaos!” More like “Yes, Triple Rock chaos!” It has taken us longer to get into the bar and pick up one of those beers than it has taken Scaramucci to get removed from this executive position in our country’s government.
How long it takes to start calling “Telebears” “CalCentral”
We just can’t bring ourselves to do it — #notmyclassregistrationsystem.
How long it takes people from SoCal to stop complaining about how cold Berkeley is
Just kidding! They never stop complaining! They’ve been at it way longer than Scaramucci’s term.
How long people from your hometown remembered about Milo Yiannopoulos’ UC Berkeley incident and tried to talk to you about it when you went home for that one weekend
You were honestly just trying to take your dog on a quick walk around the block when your neighbor Jan called you over to lecture you about the attack on free speech on college campuses and how political correctness is ruining our country. You want to explain lots of things to her, but you don’t want to sound like the Mooch in that New Yorker article.
We’re not doing too bad after all, Bears. Also, PSA: we have 13 days of summer classes left, almost as short as the Scaramucci’s reign!