You catch a tiny whiff.
What’s that smell? Its familiar formula strikes fear into your heart.
The heat intensifies and so does whatever’s invading your nasal cavity. The smell of something vaguely rotten registers in your mind. You test the air again, just to make sure you aren’t imagining anything. There it is again — but stronger. Your greatest fear has been confirmed: smelly feet. Just hope for your life that they aren’t yours.
Summer is officially here, and for some, that means the unleashing of vile stenches that no being should ever have to be exposed to. Most people have at one point, unfortunately, been caught in the stank zone. We at the Clog hope to come to your rescue and alleviate some of your odor-ious woes.
Try using foot spray
Shaq wasn’t just playing when he said Gold Bond foot powder spray made his feet happy. Foot sprays can stop your feet from leaking and banish nasty AF smells (for the most part). It’s like engulfing your feet in a cloud of adult baby powder.
Don’t wear the same shoes multiple days in a row
“You put your feet in those?”
Doing this is basically killing both your feet and your shoes. Especially in summer, the heat makes your feet sweat buckets, making your shoes stinky pools of bacteria. Shoes can get ruined from the extra sweat that builds up if you don’t dry your shoes, not to mention that you’ll feel uncomfortable slipping into damp shoes more times than you’d like. Do nearby noses, and your shoes, a favor and let closed shoes air for 24 hours before wearing them again.
It wouldn’t hurt to wash them every now and then
This applies to all shoes, including sandals. Wearing open-toed shoes all the time can definitely help air your feet out, but be sure to hose them down. Wearing them for extended periods of time can cause dirt to soak into the soles of the shoes. You’d be surprised how gross uncleaned flip-flops can get — they’ll start giving off a smell of their own.
Wash your feet, too
Trust us, it’s worth it to make the extra effort to bend down and clean your feet. A simple wash with soap and water should be enough to ward off basic stank smells.
When all else fails, use Febreze
Seriously, it works.
If other people possess the feet of death, we suggest
- Becoming a mouth-breather
- More Febreze
- Subtly slipping them an electronic device with this article on it
With summer in full bloom, so are odor-causing fungi on some people’s feet. Don’t be the guy who has everyone going, “Ew, what’s that smell?” Just remember, stinky feet ain’t sweet!