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How to find out if your class crush is your soulmate

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MARCH 16, 2017

We’ve all had some major crushes here at UC Berkeley that we’ve fantasized about falling madly in love with. Time and time again, these fantasies reveal themselves to be one-sided, and we’re forced to abandon our hopes of true love. Then again, what if that cute lad or lady from lecture is actually your soulmate? Well, you’ve come to the right place. By considering the questions below, you’re bound to discover if it’s meant to be or if you should succumb to Tinder.

Are they EECS?

They may be your soulmate (if they shower). Also, how much time do they have to commit to a relationship? Things to consider, people. Bonus points, however — they study so much, there’s no time for infidelity. 

Do they enjoy the same memes as you?

They’re a pretty obvious soulmate. After all, what predicts compatibility better than memes?

Are they a Haas major?

There’s not a strong chance that they’re your dream guy or gal. It’s likely their only soulmate is cold hard cash and themselves. 

Do they say intelligent things in discussion?

Who cares if y’all are compatible or not? We at the Clog can’t remember the last time something intelligent was said in one our discussions. Get on that.

Do they show up beligerantly high to discussion?

There’s one of these in every class and they’re undoubtedly not your soulmate. Clearly, something else is the apple of their eye.

Do they love the new Taco Bell as much as you do?

This is your one true love and you know it. The new Taco Bell is goddamn amazing and anyone who loves it as much as you do clearly gets life.

Do they hate the new Taco Bell as much as you do?

You both don’t deserve love.

Are they as curious as you are as to where the public funds went?

Aren’t we all curious where the public funds went? You guys could be soulmates, or just curious UC Berkeley students.

Do they help you with your homework?

 A promising sign of a soulmate.

Do they send you their old homework?

The truest soulmate there is.

Are they as socially “woke” as you are?

Being similarly woke is a definite sign of compatibility, and you guys are destined to be together for life.

If you were confused about whether that guy or gal in your lab, discussion or lecture was your one true love, we at the Clog hope we’ve helped you find your answer. Whether you’re going to pursue your love interest, or resign yourself to Tinder, we wish you luck with your chosen path.

Contact Melany Dillon at [email protected].

MARCH 16, 2017