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What your laptop stickers say about you

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MARCH 14, 2017

Here at UC Berkeley, we wear our hearts on our sleeves laptops. We’re all about showcasing our uniqueness, and what better place to do that than the surface of our MacBooks? If you have yet to understand why broke college students spend money on stickers that they can’t even see when their laptops are open and in use, we at the Clog cannot explain this phenomenon. However, if you’re a fellow sticker fiend who might be wondering what people are assuming you’re like based on your laptop decals, look no further. We’re here to take you on a tour of some of the most popular laptop stickers at UC Berkeley and let you know what they say about you.

“You BirkenROCK”

You’re every other basic UC Berkeley girl. You wouldn’t be caught dead without your Birkenstocks and can always spot a fake from the other side of Sproul Plaza. You only drink out of S’well bottles and are a regular at CorePower Yoga. To you, Birkenstocks aren’t a “hippie shoe.” You’re just “on-trend.” You’re easily persuaded and like to go along with the other basic Birkenstock beauties.

“I Voted”

You’re probably either still #WithHer or “Feelin’ the Bern,” and for that we don’t blame you. You proudly display your “I Voted” sticker for all to see as a reminder that you, like the majority of the population (thanks, Electoral College) voted for good ol’ Hill. You frequently make the journey over to the Berkeley College Republicans table on Sproul Plaza to spit some fire at them. You’re also a potential culprit for Berkeley College Republican sign destructions that took place this past week. And don’t forget, you often publish politically charged posts on Facebook and upset your conservative high school classmates. We get it, you’re still bitter, but aren’t we all?

Patrick Star meme

You’re a typical UC Berkeley meme lord. Instead of spending your free time catching up on all that reading you’re behind on, you devote your days to crafting dank memes on UCBMFET. You want to be the next Chris Tril, but we all know your goal is really far-fetched. Your posts garner a little less than 200 likes, even though the original goal you had in mind was 1,500. You think you’ll get there someday, but we at the Clog are here to tell you to give it up. But hey, on the bright side, you’re still a true embodiment of Patrick Star. Hopefully you’re smart enough to at least see what we’re hinting at here.

Hydro Flask (and other free stickers)

You clearly went to Calapalooza and stood in line several times for a grand total of 12 hours to try and win an overpriced coffee cup that you could’ve found on the side of the road. You continuously explained to your friends how you came “so close” several times, but the chips obviously never fell in your favor and you were left with nothing but a measly old Hydroflask sticker and a 20 percent off coupon for select Hydro Flask models. But, you’re cheap and like free things, so you never ended up buying one. Also found on your laptop are other free stickers that you’ve collected from your friends’ purchases at Philz Coffee and The North Face. You also have a few free Disney stickers you got from your last dentist visit a couple of months ago. While you may love these sticker though, you really should switch to an adult dentist instead of still going to the same one as your little sister.

We may be roasting you, but stickers are still a great way to express yourself. Be sure to show your Golden Bear pride by getting a UC Berkeley sticker!

Contact Chloe Lelchuk at [email protected].

MARCH 14, 2017