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UC Berkeley majors as animals

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MARCH 13, 2017

Sssssss. Is that a Haas snake we hear? Probably, considering they’re basically everywhere. The Haas snake is an overrated creature, consistently being the butt of the joke of UC Berkeley via memes on UCBMFET. But what about the other majors here at UC Berkeley? What are their animal equivalents? Well, we at the Clog decided it was finally time to release our shortlist of other popular UC Berkeley majors as animals so that they too can see fame on the meme page. But just remember, we’re all Bears at heart.

Media Studies: Sloths

As arguably one of the easiest majors here at UC Berkeley, media studies students don’t do a whole lot. In our minds, all they probably discuss during class is how a video makes them feel, followed by going home and bing-watching their favorite show on Netflix for homework. Media studies majors can get away with not doing a lot and are therefore sloths. They have the luxury to be lazy and spend most of their days hanging around and doing nothing. And considering how sloths are the laziest animals on Earth, media studies is probably the laziest major here on campus.


We know what you’re thinking: This is probably an insult. But just you wait, because arguably the hardest major at UC Berkeley takes a small, but mighty, army of ants to get the job done. Ants may seem scrawny, as do our EECS friends, but be warned, because these guys are the most hardworking animals in the world. Just as there are various classes of ants, there are also different versions of computer science majors — L&S and EECS. Ants tend to live in small colonies, just as colonies of EECS and CS students consistently band together (via Piazza) to turn in their projects only minutes before they’re due. Only together can they survive the struggle that all EECS and computer science majors face.

Political Science: Gnats

Poli sci majors tend to be really annoying, if we’re being brutally honest. And if there’s one animal that’s truly annoying, it’s the gnat. If you have discussion section with one of these fruit flies, good luck getting a word in. Like gnats that are constantly buzzing around and making annoying noises, poli sci majors tend to fill the void with irksome sounds of their own. They always feel the need to articulate their beliefs to peers or classmates and correct others when they say anything that might be construed as politically incorrect. And, similar to how gnats basically vomit on your food when they land on it, poli sci majors participate in word vomit and purge their nonsense onto the rest of us.

MCB: Sharks

Move over, snakes, there’s a new competitive beast in town. MCB is one of the most popular majors here at UC Berkeley, and it’s is also known for being incredibly competitive (but not as back-stabby as Haas snakes). MCB majors must take on the daunting task of Chem 1A and are thus fearless predators, like sharks. Some are obviously braver than others, and those who are move on to Chem 3A and so on. And, MCB majors may come off as stereotypically evil or bloodthirsty as a Great White Shark, but, in reality, only a few of them are dangerous.

Now that we’ve revealed the spirit animals of a few of the majors on campus, it’s time to reflect on your own inner animal. So, are you as vicious as an MCB shark or as lazy as a media studies sloth?

Contact Chloe Lelchuk at [email protected].

MARCH 13, 2017