In these first weeks of the spring semester, all you can hear on Piedmont Avenue and Warring Street are the whelps and cries of sedentary college students. Its a tragic time for South Side residents in terms of getting workouts in. This is because Memorial Stadium Fitness Center has been closed for weeks and shows no signs of a prompt return. With the Recreational Sports Facility almost a mile away, students unwilling to make the endless trek to the RSF have been neglecting their workout routines in general.
So we at the Clog ask, what’s going on with Memorial? Could it be that the campus has a secret motive behind the disappearance of “frat gym?” Here are some of the theories we have overheard around campus (disclaimer: sources include squirrels on campus) .
1. UC Berkeley wants to turn it into additional student housing
Honestly, this wouldn’t come as a surprise considering the housing crisis in Berkeley. Maybe the campus realized that there was no true value in the Memorial gym anyways, given that we have RSF to work out in “down the street.” This would be a tragic loss for the South Side Berkeley community.
2. Secret deal with Equinox
Apparently an Equinox gym is opening up in Berkeley. If you’re not familiar with Equinox, it’s basically a bougie, overpriced, yet fabulous, gym. Perhaps the campus sold out to Equinox and agreed to close down Memorial to drive up their memberships. This would be very sneaky, though, and seems highly unlikely (but you never know!).
3. Frat guys are too “swole”
We honestly don’t understand this one.
4. Cal Athletics has decided to reclaim all of Memorial Stadium
Perhaps us “common folk” never belonged in this gym to begin with. It’s located right next to the stadium and is steps away from private athlete gyms, so maybe the athletic department is taking it back for their own uses.
5. The floors
We heard that there was something wrong with the floors in the gym. Hopefully, this is the case and they’re fixing it.
Regardless, we really miss the Memorial gym! So come on UC Berkeley, we’re getting tired of walking down to the RSF.