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Quiz: What should you do if the Wi-Fi is down?

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FEBRUARY 01, 2017

Don’t panic. I repeat, don’t panic. The Wi-Fi may be down, but all isn’t lost. We at the Clog know your pain (and appreciate the irony of the fact that you can’t take this quiz if the Wi-Fi is down). Find your ethernet cable and take some deep breaths, Bears. You can fix this.


  1. What were you working on?
    1. Page 27 of a 40-page final paper, on Google Docs.
    2. My CS8 homework. Help me, professor Denero!
    3. A three-hour Shmoop binge. I have to write an in-class essay this afternoon.
    4. I was on Twitter, browsing the hottest memes.
  2. Do you have an ethernet cable?
    1. Yes, but I don’t know where to plug it in to the wall.
    2. What’s that? Is that how you charge a laptop?
    3. Nope! It’s on my to-do list, though.
    4. I have three, depending on the length I need.
  3. How fucked are you?
    1. One hundred percent, completely and totally fucked. I should just drop out now.
    2. I’m fine, tbh. This gives me a chance to read my new book!
    3. Very fucked. I think I can recover, though.
    4. Only slightly fucked. This is completely fixable.
  4. Where are you?
    1. Main Stacks. I bury myself in my work (literally).
    2. MLK Student Union. I like to be in the center of the action.
    3. My apartment/dorm room. I’ve been watching Netfli– I mean studying.
    4. The dungeons of Soda Hall.
  5. How long has the Wi-Fi been down?
    1. 30 minutes. I’m starting to sweat.
    2. Maybe a minute or two. I just noticed.
    3. All morning. Nothing is real and I am dying.
    4. One hour. I’m going to take a stress nap.
    1. Wait it out. Tech support will fix it … Right? Right? Please God let them fix it.
    2. Take a nap. You’re not going  to do anything productive until the Wi-Fi starts working anyway, so you may as well take a hard-earned nap.
    3. Go outside! Let the sun touch your skin for the first time in weeks as you finally exit your blanket fort due to sheer boredom.
    4. Refresh manically. If you keep clicking on Google Chrome, it’ll eventually reset. At least that’s what you keep telling yourself.


Contact Jamie Campbell at [email protected].

FEBRUARY 01, 2017