Winter break is a time for vacations. We can finally leave school and head home homework free! There are no obligations to complete a bCourses response by 10 a.m. on a Tuesday, prepare for a quiz or wake up for an 8 a.m. discussion. We UC Berkeley students can finally give academics a rest and finish that show, or five, that we’ve always wanted to watch on Netflix.
However, winter break is also a time of division. It divides the vacationing from the vacationless. We at the Clog understand the struggles of watching your peers hit the tropics while you head to get lit with grandma. Though Netflix and chilling with yourself is rather invigorating, boredom can eventually sweep over us.
There are clearly two types of winter break-goers: those who go and those who stay. To help aid you, dear reader, we outlined a comprehensive guide outlining the two types of winter breakers to avoid getting butt hurt in your post-break catch up sessions.
“The holidays are such a busy time on the road. Weren’t the crowds just insane this year?”
Vacation-Goer: “Oh yes, LAX was totally jam packed. Even the TSA pre-check line was more than 25 minutes long. And to make matters even worse, my flight to Bali was delayed because of the blizzard I completely bypassed in New York. But never fear, once in Bali everything was totally stress-free.”
Vacationless: “You’re preaching to the choir. I lost my driver’s license and had to wait at the DMV for three hours. And, of course, it took me more than an hour to get home on the 405. And I almost hit a possum pulling into my driveway.”
“Speaking of insane, this sure was a rainy winter, wouldn’t you say?”
Vacation-Goer: “I completely agree. Whilst skiing in the Swiss Alps with Michelle, Barack, Malia and Sasha, it rained for a while before turning into blissful powdered-sugar snow. But we really needed the rain, it was so lovely and green when I returned from my trip.”
Vactionless: “Oh yeah, it was pouring almost every day. When I went to grab the groceries for Christmas dinner, I got totally soaked and slipped and dropped the yam tins. And it didn’t stop. I hydroplaned and almost ran into the street light the other day.”
“The holidays can also lead to some intense tension within the family, am I right?”
Vacation-Goer: “Totally! But only some friendly family competition. While we were on our yacht sailing through the Bahamas, there was quite a battle to see who could do the best backflip off the boat. There was even an intense game of family beer pong. Aunt Gina definitely had her game face on.”
Vacationless: “Don’t get me started. During Hanukkah, my mom and I got into a fight about who burnt the latkes. We were screaming at each other at the top of our lungs. Things got so intense we knocked over the the menorah and started a small kitchen fire. Then, after we finally moved on from that, my Nana Lou asked me if I was asexual, because I never talk about my love life. She then asked me if I gained weight or if I was just shrinking prematurely. She followed by asking if I was interested in getting set up with nice Jewish boy from Temple she met at the last yenta’s bingo night.”
Whether you were a vacation goer or turned up with your parents, we at the Clog hope you had a great break!