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Going down in the DMs

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OCTOBER 20, 2016

These days it appears that everyone walking through campus is armed with an iPhone or some sort of savvy technological device. These new innovations also bring new apps that consequently impact our social behaviors here at UC Berkeley. With the rise of social media and dating apps in mind, we at the Clog have carefully included four ways to meet your future spouse by means no more social than your smartphone.

The casual but innovative Facebook poke

To begin, we at the Clog chose to kick it old school to the website that seemed to start it all: the Facebook. After a couple of classes or a semi-significant conversation in line at GBC, it’s perfectly socially acceptable to throw said individual a friend request. Yet, a casual new virtual relationship is often not enough to get cupid’s arrow flying. A quirky poke could escalate this new connection into a rising romance.

Individualized Snapchat attention

Though Snapchat is becoming rather mainstream, it’s always possible to reach out to that special someone using this medium. Rather than just sending a basic dog-filtered selfie or a mundane Berkeley sunset picture, perhaps utilize the toast filter and caption it with a ingenious pun such as “Today would be a lot butter if i saw you,” or “Rye can’t I stop thinking about you?” These playful lines can always progress into being “true loaf” and eventual marriage. This doughy beginning can add symbolic significance to the challah at your wedding. Win, win!

Slide into those DMs  

It appears as though Yo Gotti has proliferated our society and changed the course of social history. The art of sliding into someone’s DMs has led to numerous college dates and even relationships. With the Instagram DM feature, one can specifically message their secret crush and have their best imagery available for the viewing. To keep things casual, one can message their intended beloved with a simple “hey” and start a random conversation that can blossom into coffee at Strada.

bCourses messenger

This is the dark horse of all campus technologies. Sending that special someone you’ve had your eye on in discussion a quick bCourses message is the perfect way to take things from studious to sexual. Asking if they could send you the notes from that one discussion you missed could lead to study plans for the midterm, proofreading each other papers and eventual eternal union.

Why bother actually putting yourself out there when technology can get your foot in the door of love for you?

Contact Nichole Bloom at [email protected].

OCTOBER 19, 2016