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50 thoughts we have before a Tinder date

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SEPTEMBER 17, 2015

As often as we say we’ll never stoop to using Tinder, chances are, many of us will end up going on a Tinder date (or, let’s be honest, many Tinder dates). Here are some of the thoughts that go through our heads right before our dates. Don’t worry, it isn’t as scary as people say it is. At the least, you’ll end up with one more friend on Facebook.

  1. Did I stalk my date enough?
  2. Will my date look exactly like his or her pictures?
  3. Probably not.
  4. My date could be a catfish.
  5. I’ve heard stories about that.
  6. Would it be rude to just leave if they’re not who I was expecting?
  7. Or, my date might just not show up.
  8. Or, my date might see me and leave.
  9. Or worse, my date might see me, leave and unmatch me.
  10. As long as my date isn’t a serial killer, there’s nothing I can’t get through.
  11. This is exactly why we’re meeting at Café Strada.
  12. Otherwise, our date would just be a prelude to a murder mystery.
  13. Did my date stalk my social media beforehand?
  14. I wonder how I came off through my Facebook.
  15. I think I removed all the embarrassing DU photos already.
  16. I should be fine.
  17. Unless my date looks at my “interests” from middle school.
  18. How awkward will the date be?
  19. What if we run out of things to talk about?
  20. Solid topics: work load, opinion on Birkenstocks and Kylie Jenner.
  21. Where is the conversation starter deck I got at Urban Outfitters?
  22. I might even try to tell some jokes about Chancellor Dirks’ scandalous unibrow removal.
  23. Even if they’re not funny, there’s a chance that they’ll come off as endearing.
  24. Should I tell my friends I’m going on a Tinder date?
  25. What if the date goes terribly and I see my date at FSM all the time?
  26. What if my date is in my classes next semester?
  27. Would anyone know I’m on a Tinder date?
  28. Hopefully I don’t run into anyone I know; they’ll think I lost my game.
  29. God forbid I run into my ex.
  30. Are we actually eating or merely getting coffee?
  31. I’ll eat beforehand.
  32. Then again, it would be awkward if my date’s the only one eating.
  33. I should probably just eat a snack.
  34. Time to pick out clothes.
  35. I can’t try too hard — wouldn’t want my date to think I’m desperate.
  36. But I also want to look like I put in effort to show I care enough about the date.
  37. What if we actually end up dating?
  38. Would we tell people that we met on Tinder?
  39. I’ll tell them we met in Main Stacks.
  40. I sincerely hope my date isn’t weird.
  41. At least, not any more weird than I am.
  42. Are we having sex?
  43. Probably not.
  44. After all, no one uses Tinder for sex. 😉
  45. I’ll let my roommates know about the possibility just in case.
  46. I’ll suggest a “Netflix and chill” to test out the waters.
  47. I need to catch up on Scrubs anyways.
  48. I should give someone my location just in case.
  49. Well, off to my date.
  50. Thank you Tinder, for letting me put in the least amount of effort to get this date.

Contact Catherine Straus at 


SEPTEMBER 16, 2015