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If AirBears were your summer fling

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SEPTEMBER 04, 2015

Over the summer, your relationship with AirBears was wonderful. It was as attentive as anyone could wish for —  it was like you were the only person in the world. But things got a little more complicated as soon as the semester started. With mo’ people came mo’ problems. From trouble in paradise to dramatic breakdown, we at the Clog have chronicled the gradual deterioration of your relationship with AirBears.

  1. You decided you’d end your relationship in early September because AirBears was going away.
  2. You both agreed that clinging onto each other would only hold you back throughout the year.
  3. But as soon as classes started and you saw your syllabi, you freaked out and reaffirmed your love.
  4. You thought you’d be able to to phase AirBears out of your life when school started, but every night around midnight you realized how much you need it in order to stay sane.
  5. So you tried to start a long distance relationship, but you realized that being apart from each other only weakened your connection.
  6. And with more distance, communication only became slower.
  7. You turned to Skype to help you during this difficult time, but it just wouldn’t load.
  8. And even so, every time you were free, AirBears seemed like it was tied up with other things.
  9. You felt neglected. All you were trying to do was connect with AirBears, but it just wouldn’t cooperate.
  10. Your last hope was start to an open relationship, so you gave the okay to the arrangement.
  11. But as soon as you did, you felt like everyone was all over it.
  12. You got jealous, but AirBears just didn’t have enough bandwidth to deal with your problems.
  13. But, with unwavering faith, you still believed in the relationship, and so you stuck it out.
  14. However, every time you tried to reach out, it was always slow to respond to you.
  15. You wondered what you were doing wrong.
  16. You consulted your friends (thank you, RESCOMP), but even their well-meaning advice couldn’t fix your problems.
  17. You realized you couldn’t even understand AirBears anymore. It was like it was speaking an encrypted language.
  18. You two started to fight, and it was always passive aggressive — it was like it was speaking in code.
  19. Sometimes, it didn’t respond to you at all.
  20. And so you broke it off, and found a new flame —
  21. AirBears2.
Contact Rachel Feder and Emma Schiffer at [email protected].

SEPTEMBER 04, 2015