UC Berkeley is home to some of the brightest minds in the world. Here within its hallowed halls, where many a Nobel laureate has sat to relieve themselves, lie bathroom stalls laden with golden graffiti — the musings of those seated on the porcelain throne. Here are Clog’s favorite bathroom messages in genres ranging from uplifting messages to hippie nonsense.
1. Sometimes the walls can give you a bump of positivity to brighten your day.
2. But other times, it may not be so positive. Don’t be surprised if you see someone getting a bathroom graffiti wakeup call.
Author 1: And remember — life is pretty fucking great.
Author 2: no it’s not
Author 3: if you’re trying to survive the aftermath of an earthquake in one of the poorest countries of the world, it just MIGHT not be that great. just sayin’; ya know
3. Some messages can be just plain strange, but those are often the most interesting. We’ve spent many a bathroom break wondering how the crocodile improved upon his shining tail.
Author 1: How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail?
Author 2: Not getting it bit off by bigger, stronger crocodiles is a good start.
4. Other messages can reinforce every Berkeley stereotype imaginable
It only takes 8 minutes and 17 seconds for light to travel from the sun to the Earth ~~ but only two seconds for me to light this blunt
5. Did someone say reinforcing Berkeley stereotypes?
I <3 Birkenstocks
6. Not to mention, the vegan arguments.
Author 1: Animals are not our property, they are loving beings with emotions who are worthy of respect and do not deserve to die for the human greed of flavor/meat. Coexist peacefully with your ancestors
Author 2: mmm…veal
Author 3: animals exist for their own reasons and we should not kill or exploit them. They are not here for anyone to eat, use for clothing, abuse in the (???), or torture in labs!
Author 4: STFU Hippy. Actually they are here for us to eat #sciencebitch
Author 5: Are you one of those folks who only eats veggies → aka animals’ food?
Fuck you, vegans. I’m delicious
Veganism is a first world miracle
6. It’s good to know the Berkeley conservationist spirit is alive and well.
Concerned about the drought? Stop eating animals. Just stop eating. Lol.
Boycott almonds & beef (we are in a drought)
7. A lighter note to end on. Life is pretty great, especially here at Cal.