To our dear housemates/apartmentmates/roommates,

As we all know, summer has officially begun. The weather is — slowly but surely — getting warmer. The sun is — sometimes — out. And our urge to slip on a bathing suit and engage in activities of the wet and wild persuasion has commenced. No, not that kind of “wet and wild.” What we’re asking for is the return of the classic water slide, the Slip ‘N Slide.

We’d like to formally appeal for the ultimate form of summertime entertainment, the most exciting way to use a hose and kill grass at the same time. We know California is in a drought, we know they’re designed for kids ages 8 to 12, we know it’ll probably only be fun for a day before we get sick of it. But a wise female trio once told us, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls.” And if we have a trusty Slip ‘N Slide in our backyards, we’ll never have to chase another waterfall again.

Does no one remember the heat wave of that one fateful October weekend last fall? What were we all begging for but sadly did not possess at the time? A water slide! Rather than laying on our cold hardwood floors, spraying fans in our faces and singing “Hot girls we have problems, too,” let’s make the most out of those abnormally hot days and pull out our Slip ‘N Slide! It’s an investment, really. You’ll feel silly in a few months when we finally get summer in fall, and we’re all locked up indoors for fear of sweating profusely.

Furthermore, we think it’s time to address the real reason everyone loves game days — and daygers in general — so much: water slides. You can say what you want about the Greek system, but you can’t deny that sliding down a sheet of plastic — in your swimsuit, clothing, who cares?! — while being semi-incoherent is a dream come true. Why force yourself to trek all the way up to frat row and make a fool of yourself in front of complete strangers when you can have the same form of entertainment in your own backyard?! Wait, do we not have a backyard? Never fear, we have all of UC Berkeley as our backyard! Memorial Glade, anyone?

Well, we think it’s safe to say we’ve made our point. Now, don’t even get us started on inflatable hot tubs.

Cheers,

The Daily Clog

Image source: Eric May under Creative Commons