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UC Berkeley students are secretly infants

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APRIL 21, 2015

We sat down to think about it one day and realized we college students are pretty much just bigger versions of babies. Here are eight ways in which we never actually grew up, changed or matured.

1. Irregular sleep schedule.


Going to bed at 2 p.m. and then waking up at 1 a.m. (or vice versa) occurs pretty often, whether you’re a baby or a student.

2. Speaking of sleeping, we will sleep anywhere.

Like babies, who are notorious for shutting their eyes when tired no matter what the situation, so do students.

3. Will eat random thing (even if it’s barely edible) or nothing at all.


*Looks in the fridge and shrugs* “I think it’s edible.” We then find out it’s not and instead choose to starve for the next couple of days, refusing to eat another bowl of top ramen.

4. Does not understand what people are saying (in class).


“Agooba gabo goo” — pretty much the only thing babies hear and students understand (when listening to lecture).

5. Can’t read (them scholarly articles).


Babies see random lines and scribbles, just like us, no matter how hard we stare and squint. 

6. We scribble, too.  

Clog.Babies.HernandezWhen we’re handwriting our notes in a class where the professor doesn’t let us type on our laptops, and the professor is speaking as fast as she possibly can, we basically just scrawl.  Seriously, please slow down, we can’t understand our own writing.

7. Our outfits are either on point or have leftover food bits all over them. (This baby is looking fly.)Clog.Babies.Hernandez

We tend to look good when we have the help of friends to monitor our outfits, like babies who need the help of their parents to get dressed. During midterm season, however, we all look like those babies that have glorious food bits all over them because they can’t feed ourselves.

8. We inspire hope for the future.

We are the future. As UC Berkeley students, let’s create a better world for all of us.

Sources: Michiel S.Krista GueninAlphaChristopher LanceCarolina ArantesLynn Kelley AuthorThe Q SpeaksFreedom House under Creative Commons.

Contact Hopi Hernandez at [email protected].

APRIL 20, 2015