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If this is you, your Tinder needs an intervention

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MARCH 16, 2015

No one jumps on the chance to admit that he or she engages in the infamous phone app Tinder due to its negative connotations, which often include superficiality and facilitating casual sex. Despite its seemingly shallow appearance-based matching process, its popularity does not cease, and UC Berkeley’s campus is no exception. So if you want the other users to judge you based on your looks within seconds based on your profile, you might as well do it right. Here are some automatic no-no’s for picture option, and if you take your Tinder game seriously enough, consider fixing that ish up.

The “no picture” pictures 

The biggest issue on Tinder is when someone’s profile does not have a good picture of his or her face, or a picture of the person at all. How is one supposed to make an empty and instinctual judgment of you when you have no pictures to be judged?

  • Sceneries

Yeah, those are nice pictures, and we don’t doubt your photography skills for a second. But we care more about whether or not your eyes make our hearts melt like a hot knife through butter. Sorry.

  • Movie, shows or cartoon characters

No one can deny that Pitch Perfect was a hilarious movie, and we, too, love Fat Amy. We would definitely right swipe her, but in this case, left swipe you. It gives us no indication of what you look like, and only a mere fact that we share a relatively similar taste in movies.

  • You, but without face

That sun is conveniently hitting your face to a point where it hides, like, all of your features? Do you really cover your whole face with your hand when you laugh? Just kidding. It is a great candid picture, but we wouldn’t mind seeing that pretty smile of yours.

  • Group pictures: Can’t figure out who you are

Honestly, it just gives the other user a harder time when he or she has to go through multiple pictures of you to figure out which one you are. And sometimes, all the pictures are group-oriented. Let us share a trick with you: the crop button.

  • Baby Pictures

You were really cute as a baby, but how cute are you now? Not to mention, if we swipe right, it would make us feel slightly pedophile-like, despite your profile telling us your actual age.

The “I’m not sure if you’re taken or not” pictures

  • With a bae? Ex bae?

Is the girl or guy that is in all your pictures your significant other? Or are you still not over your ex? The most likely explanation is he or she is related to you, but we still don’t want to take any chances of becoming a home wrecker.

  • With a baby

Is it yours?

  • You’re pimping, but not really

Good to know that you can get two girls kissing each side of your cheeks for a picture. Next.

The “classy” pictures

  • Gang signs

We are just not about that life.

  • Smoking

Please refer to the previous example.

  • Junk grabbing

Please refer to the previous two examples.

The “humble” pictures

  • Flexing at the gym

You worked hard for your body, and you should be proud of it. That six pack is coming along very nicely. Not all six of your pictures, however, need to be of you at the gym. It makes it seem as though if we dive into your messages, all you would talk about is your workout routine.

  • Pictures with money

It looks like you’re about to hit the strip club.

  • Mirror selfies

If you must, invest in a selfie stick. Anything is better than a mirror selfie.

Moral is, just find some dog walker around campus, and ask to take a selfie with their dog. Bam! An instant 20+ matches. You can thank us later.


 Image Sources: Denis Bocquet under Creative Commons

Contact Catherine Straus at [email protected].

MARCH 16, 2015