Time after time, UC Berkeley has topped college ranking lists, most notably being crowned U.S News & World Report’s top public national university. Unfortunately, there is one list out there we wish we weren’t on: Dating Ring’s list of the least dateable college alumni.
The “anti-Tinder” matchmaking service collected 7,500 date feedback forms from 1,600 people over an 18-month period to study which college produces the most dateable alumni. UC Berkeley, sadly, landed itself at number seven of the least dateable list. The scores were calculated based on the percentage of people who would go for a second date. This means that UC Berkeley alumni have not been getting many second chances at love out there.
The results are — thankfully — not comprehensively represented, because 81 percent of those surveyed lived in New York City, while only 19 percent lived in San Francisco. We at the Clog are in vehement denial of this data and came up with a few reasons that attest to the high dateability of UC Berkeley alumni.
1. We love squirrels
This is common knowledge. Everyone in the Berkeley community loves squirrels. This love, however, does not come without a cost. Despite stolen chicken strips outside the Golden Bear Cafe and heart attacks when squirrels randomly dash out on walkways, our love for squirrels prevail. This just goes to show that UC Berkeley alumni would have mastered the art of loyalty and known the ways of enduring love. Plus, is there really anything sexier than an animal lover? — unless you hate animals, in which case, you’re losing out.
2. We’re relatively fit
Sure, sometimes we overindulge on Taco Tuesdays and drink way too much boba. Having the RSF with all its treadmills and weight rooms, however, definitely evens that out. Besides that, we have numerous hiking opportunities to work those calves out, from the Big C to the fire trails. We even have involuntary exercise, also known as our constant treks to and from Stanley and Dwinelle halls. Trust us, those hills on campus are quite intimidating to the unfit.
3. We work hard to get what we want
With the many libraries and study spots at UC Berkeley, it is mind blowing how finding a study space is virtually impossible at any given time. UC Berkeley students are just studying or working on something at all times! At a school like this, nothing is handed to you on a silver platter. Want to get into an organization? Better be prepared to spend a sleepless night on that application. Want good grades? Better be prepared to hustle to beat that curve.
4. We know our food
They say the best way to one’s heart is through the stomach. For a date with a side of umami, get a UC Berkeley alum to take you out — we guarantee they’ll know the best locations to find perfect noms. Very few other college campuses see the variety of food UC Berkeley does. You name it, we have it — French, Izakaya, Thai, (northern and southern) Indian, tapas, Korean — and the list goes on. Not to mention our numerous boba spots and Korean, Chinese or American bakeries.
5. We have an impressive list of alumni
People’s Magazine’s 2013 Sexiest Man Alive has one of our UC Berkeley alums: Chris Pine. How could anyone not want to go on a date with that Hollywood hunk? Besides that, we also produced 12-time Olympic Medalist Natalie Coughlin, who was featured in Sports Illustrated. Looking for brains? Co-founder Steve Wozniak is a UC Berkeley alum too! Also, he rocks a great beard.
In conclusion, we at the Clog sincerely believe that people must be out of their minds not wanting to date UC Berkeley alums.