Monday night was a “Lord of the Rings” marathon kind of night. While we could have been reviewing logarithms for the upcoming Math 1A midterm, we were instead hunkered down in our den of a residence hall room, entranced by the mystical quest of a small hobbit facing the impending doom of the world as we know it. Except, by the world as we know it, what we really mean is Middle Earth as Frodo knew it. And by Frodo, who we’re really talking about is Sam, because — let’s face it — the only real reason anyone ever cared about the fate of the fellowship is because of Samwise Gamgee’s repeated and inspiring demonstrations of loyal companionship to his dear friend and fellow hobbit, Frodo Baggins.
We found ourselves getting particularly invested in the events of the trilogy coincidentally right as Samwise was having his infamous tater standoff with Gollum. You see, Gollum caught a rabbit and wanted to just rip into it, being the nasty disturbed creature that he is. Sam, a civilized and food-centric hobbit, roasted the rabbit over the campfire, reducing poor Gollum to a pathetic pile of confused rage. Although this time it had nothing to do with a competing claim to Frodo, continued friction between Gollum and Sam ensued.
Yet somehow, as the fires of Mordor burned stronger and the climactic culmination of this award-winning series grew closer, all we could think about was the burning sensation of hunger in our stomachs. So, being resourceful and crafty, we wandered over to Crossroads Late Night and immersed ourself in the beauty that is potato art.
Ah, potatoes, how we love potatoes. Taters, if you will. Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick them in a stew … at least that’s what Samwise said to do. Although our cramped kitchen and limited chef skills impeded our ability to whip up a hobbit-quality tater mash, we still manage to fulfill our starchy desires with none other than the world-renowned offerings of Crossroads. Meet Mr. Potato Spud.
The Mr. Potato Spud is a Samwise Gamgee rendition. It comprises an intricately crafted blend of grossly satisfying garlic fries and pomme de terre-ific tater tots, accented with colorful dollops of 100 percent Heinz ketchup and Hidden Valley ranch dressing. Spicy garlic-coated, grease-soaked, waffle-cut Yukon Gold potatoes serve as our base. Crispy, golden-brown nuggets of grated potato provide a perfect, albeit less-moist, companion to the waffle-y base.
This hearty meal is a perfect closure to one of those wildly stressful days that occurs so frequently during midterm season. Mr. Potato Spud goes great with virtually all of the other late-night options: pancakes, macaroni ‘n’ cheese and regular waffle fries. If only Late Night offered mashed taters, tater chips or perhaps some french-fried taters, our spud-tacular feast would have been complete.
Even you couldn’t say no to that. Nah? Well, potaterz gonna potate.