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The rotation

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OCTOBER 21, 2011

I would like to introduce to you the concept of “the rotation.” What is it, you ask? It’s a very important concept of singlehood. It is a concept and organization tool, of sorts, to help you ensure (or try to) that your needs get met.

While folks in relationships, or fuck buddy situations in which the other person is not all that busy, get to enjoy the awesomeness of regular sex whenever they need or want it, us singletons don’t. Thus, the need for a rotation.

Let me explain a little bit more. People have needs. Often. Unfortunately, the person you like to hook up with, casually, isn’t always available. This is Cal — we have shit to do. We have different schedules from a lot of the people we know. Therefore, unfortunately, he or she can’t always meet up with you for a little session of getting down and dirty when you get horny and need it.

That’s frustrating. A lot. It’s a real problem.

This is where the rotation comes in. You can’t count on one person to fulfill all your needs all the time, so you get a little collection of people to do that (I know you relationship/monogamy people out there disagree). If one can’t, another in the rotation should be available. We are assuming that the sex gods are not going to hate you enough to make everyone unavailable at the same time and leave you horny and unsatisfied (yes, I know you can always take care of it yourself, but that’s not always good enough or what you are craving).

A variation on the classic rotation is to have different people for different needs. You can have the dude that has a little crush on you and whom you can talk in to taking you on a date. Then there’s the one who’s your sexual napalm. The one who’s so-so, but a great kisser and fun to make-out with for a quick fix. The one who’s always free (definitely never goes to class or anything else) and you can call at any hour of the day. You get the picture.

However you design your rotation, I encourage you to have one. Sex — and other needs — are important, and it’s so annoying when they are not fulfilled. And, as I said, you cannot depend on one person to fulfill them all. That is why you get backup — the rotation.

Contact Kia Kokalitcheva at 


OCTOBER 23, 2011