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Accept the condom, love the condom

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SEPTEMBER 21, 2011

Alright, I know many of you – both girls and boys – are already rolling your eyes and thinking about how much you hate having sex with condoms, how it doesn’t feel as good (or “natural”), how you might not even feel anything and that you’re just not going to use them. Now, if you are in a monogamous situation (monogamous fuck buddies included), know for a fact that you are both clean and are using an effective method of birth control, this is not necessarily applying to you. However, the rest of you just need to accept the condom.

Why, you may ask? So that your sex life doesn’t suffer the way mine has a few times. Trust me, it is not fun when you discover that his erection you worked oh so hard for gets absolutely destroyed by what seems like a harmless little piece of latex. Actually, it’s not “not fun.” It’s straight-up annoying, disappointing and even tragic. Dude, why is your little buddy doing this to me?!

The solution? I think you just need to suck it up, and start rocking the boat while using some latex. After all, practice makes perfect. Sure, it will take you a few, or several, tries before it’s comfortable – or you even feel anything close to pleasure – but I would argue that it’s a small price to pay for a lifelong friendship between your mini-me and his rubber outfit.

As for you ladies: suck it up too (no pun intended). I know it can feel a little dry, and plastic, but that can usually be remedied with some lubrication – store-bought or naturally induced by your bedroom buddy. Plus, you know that the peace of mind from having an extra anti-STD, anti-little-babies aid feels pretty damn good.

Alright, so now go buy yourself some ultra-thin, ultra-whatever you need them to be to feel confident about using rubbers, and get to work. Dudes, you might want to even consider giving your little partner in crime a pep talk. Hell, I don’t care what you do, but make it work. We hate it when it gets scared by the sight or touch of a condom and goes into hiding just as much as you do – it’s quite anticlimactic.

And in case you’ve forgotten the old days of rubbers and bananas in sex ed, take a little trip into the World Wide Web and refresh your memory.

Contact Kia Kokalitcheva at 

LAST UPDATED

SEPTEMBER 23, 2011